Only 3 months or so...

...since I last wrote on my blog.

I only spent 3 months away, that's a new short record.

I blame it all on covid!

YIN/YANG.....

There was a time it seems so long ago that I felt I had a special purpose in life. This was not a delusion of grandeur, it was a honest feeling of wanting to accomplish something of “importance”. I had a vision I wanted to share with the world, at least those who would listen…a message of hope…My inspiration was my music. I felt through song I could share that vision,  the vision of how things could be. I was a17 year old idealist and I felt that what I had to say was something never said before, I was wrong of course. These things had been said before, knowledge shared through the centuries. That I was trying to relate was what people have been attempting to relate forever. The message simply put is that we, the people of this planet can live in peace and prosper, I said it, philosophers said it, poets have said it, hell even a Vulcan named Spock said it. Maybe it’s just Bullshit.

 

   Please don’t get me wrong, I am not a cynical person, at least not completely […I wrote this at 17 or 18 years old…at 58, I’m a total and complete cynic now ] When I say that it’s bullshit I simply mean that realistically world peace is a concept that is nothing more than wishful fiction. We live in an evil world, a world that has negative and positive energy, God and Satan, Good and Bad, however you want to look at it, I’m trying to not get religious here, I will share my feelings on “being” later. I do feel that the basic struggle of good and evil exists through a personally perceived manifestation. However, my feelings on this subject are a bit mixed and I would not be honest if I did not admit this. I examine and reflect and even confront this issue and yet have no resolve […it does come later…].

DAY 20,996 

Emotions

Feelings and emotions are sometimes the curse of being human. They can control you more at times than you can control them. I should say they me more at times than I can control them, for this is my own personal experience.

 

Perhaps here is a chance for me to control my emotions not to cover them or hide them in a bunch of metaphors. Not to ignore them or deny them, but to honestly acknowledge them, to examine them and direct them, look at them for what they are.

 

This is going to be quite a job, but in the long run I feel the effort I put into it will benefit me, and those around me.

 

The Journey Continues....

 I know at times I seem to think more of myself and of my

intellect then is really true. I may feel that I have more knowledge than I really do. I my even appear to be conceited in the manner of my presentation, but I honestly do not try and put myself above others. I believe that I have an understanding of my weaknesses, though I may not always acknowledge them. I also think that I know my limitations, though I may not always admit that they exist. I truly do not want to be any more than I am. I am not trying to be intellectual, nor a philosopher. These writings are not meant to impress anyone, and there is a good chance that no one will ever read any of this . It is important to me, however, to relate the disclaimer from above. 

 

A Journey...a long time ago....

...in a galaxy far, far away

I started a journal in 1980. This was a time when music, poetry, drugs and sex were my world. No shit....really living the dream of a 18 year old kid in a band with a plan. Anyway knowing that no one is going to actually see this blog I figure it's my own legacy unto myself...to live in cyber space forever! I'm sharing the start of that 1980 journal, realizing much has never changed...

The Beginning

Writing is one of the things I think I miss doing the most these days. I used to write quite a bit, in the past. Usually I would just put down my thoughts, images of things in the back of my mind. I would write songs, poems, stories and philosophies. But, somewhere along the way I stopped doing that and I think that is the reason behind some of those feelings and emotional tantrums I go through.

I think that it will take me awhile to get back on track with my writing. These first few entries will be a bit rough, but with time it will improve. Though my grammar may not always be exact, my thoughts will become more clear.

I really do not feel that there is a need to date these entries , because I know that I will not be able to be consistent with daily writings. What I am trying to do here is just explore the thoughts that I have. These thoughts may not always seem connected and they are not meant to be related. Though they may ..in the big picture..be interrelated, they are not some exhortation on life.

It is said that in all of us there lies the "great American novel"  I most certainly am not trying to bring that out here. What is more important to me at this time is just the ability to transform my abstract thoughts from mental musings to real words.

(more to be revealed)

 

And now for my next trick.....

        And now for my next trick.....

And we thought this is how was going to end.

Who would have thought a virus could change the world forever. Well actually a whole lot of Sc-Fi writers thought so and wrote great stories about it. Of course there were experts that warned us over and over again in the last 5 - 10 years that we were extremely vulnerable and ultimately destined to have a pandemic that would change the world has we know it.

Did you know that the earth has endured pandemics within recorded history? There was an outbreak in the 1950's, in 1918, in 1850, in the 1700's. hell all the way back to something called the Black Plague. What makes this Coronavirus worse than say the Rubella pandemic of the 1850's? Maybe it's the fact that 85% of those who have died from complications of COVID19 have been over the age of 70, whereas rubella didn't stick to one age group, it killed thousands of all ages.

The big difference between this pandemic and any other in history...the Internet! Think about it, in fact isn't it called "viral" when a picture, meme, video that suddenly is seen by thousands, millions of people. We have been living with thousands of ridiculous viral images for years. Everything is better on the Internet...more facts are out there, than ever before...facts right or wrong, true or false...it's acceptable to just make shit up...ask President Trump.

So what does this all mean? Where am I going with this? 

No Where

I have no better insight than the next person. What I do believe though is that we will never feel and live like we did a year ago, our lives have been changed forever...so let's face it and see if we can address some other more social needs we must face.  

 

 

The Dawning of A New Day

As of today, I have lived on this earth for approximately 20,985 days.

Until now I never really thought about framing my life in the number of days I've spent here. It's a pretty big number, in a way it's a hell of a shock to look at it this way. The odds are that I may very well have at least another 9,051 days to go...with luck I could have 10,856 days ahead, as far as the quality of life ....well that's a real variable now, isn't it.